"courage, my love" -razzle dazzle ros

my end notes for the day:
inevitable amounts of maturity + gaining wisdom = good,
realizations of actual reality + end of adolescent dreams = disastrous.

i've been recollecting throughout my years of life and have been deciphering what i've really wanted this whole time because i can't seem to just pick one. what did the five year old little chi-mee fantasize about in her imagination? what did the nine year old chi-mee want to become when she was in 4th grade? what did the 17 year old want to study next when she graduated high school? etc, etc. It's funny to think about because when I was a kid, i had no idea who and what kind of person I'd become.. I just figured I'd figure it out grow into myself however way it seemed fit. But whenever i would imagine myself in the future and project the older me in the future, I'd see myself as a worker at sea world- and not even as trainer, but the tank cleaner. I ultimately just imagined myself being near and around water/the ocean. I should fulfill my little kids dream. Location, location. I should move to a coast. Muturity is creepin behind my shoulder and its changing me faster than I can keep up.